Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Resolving Upon a New Year

The year 2010 is almost over. On Friday, I will stay up until midnight (not exactly a difficult feat) to ring in the new year. 2011. The year I will graduate. The year I will begin college. THE year.

But what about 2010?

Uh... what about it?

Wasn't 2010 THE year?

Sort of.

It was THE year. But not in the way in which I was referring to 2011.

2011 will be THE year of transition. Change. Growing up. Starting to be on my own. Becoming an adult.


But 2010 was also THE year.

THE best year of my life thus far.

Looking back on the year, I can see that God completely and utterly spoiled me. He gave me so so much this year. He let so much good happen.

So much.


Getting the opportunity to visit BJU

Three amazing best friends.

More Teenpact.

Teaching me forgiveness.

Leading me into and even now walking with me through this season of healing.

Epic air travel adventures.

My brother getting saved.

I could probably go on forever. God gave me a beautiful year. I keep going back and adding things He's done for me.

And then there's next year.

Highschool graduation.


Teaching photography classes.

More TeenPact.

Working on (and hopefully finishing) my book.

Whatever else God has in store.

With every New Year comes the idea of new beginnings. A new start. A time to begin breaking bad habits and forming good ones. In my mind, New Year's Resolutions are kind of a list of things you really really want to accomplish in the upcoming year. So, here's mine.

1) Read through the entire Bible by the end of the year.
2) Take my dog for a walk at least three times a week.
3) Read all the books I got for Christmas with understanding.
4) Prayerfully develop my leadership skills.
5) Be more consistent when I commit to something.
6) Curbing my temper.
7) Complete a year long "A Photo A Day" project.
8) Become a prayer warrior (this one kind of ties into #5)
9) Be a better steward of my money (aka work on enlarging my college savings account)
10) Be continually thankful for every day that goes by.
11) And the most important: Never stop praising God.

What are your resolutions?

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Hold Up!

Hey everyone,

I know I've started a series, and I would love to continue it, but I've had a lot on my mind lately. I'm putting the series on hold indefinitely until I can get some other stuff written and blogged. It's just a couple things and I should be ready to continue the series at the beginning of the new year.

I've really felt like God has been leading me to writing about a couple topics. I won't post what they are right now--I'll let them stay a surprise until I'm ready to post. I'd really appreciate prayers especially with one of my topics as it's a very touchy subject and going to be hard to write about.

Thank you, God bless, and Merry Christmas!!!

Friday, December 3, 2010

The Kind of Friends We Are (part 1)

My mom kept saying God had a reason for that horrible day. But when it was happening, all I could think about was that I had missed my flight, my new was kept getting delayed, I was stressed out, tired, and couldn't stop crying. The day was progressively getting worse and worse. But every time I talked to my mom she would the same thing.

God has a reason in all this. He is in control.

When I finally got to the camp, my luggage had not. It was still in North Carolina. In another plane. Evening session was almost over. Dinner was long over. Not that I was hungry. I did the motions through the end of evening session and then through coffee house. Finally, I dragged myself to the girl's dorms, searching for my room. Finally, I found it. Instantly I was confronted by twelve other girls staring at me. I moved through the room, stuttering out my story.

My only possessions in the world at that moment were the clothes I was wearing and whatever was in my backpack.

I didn't even know if there was an extra bunk for me.

There were two left.

Blindly, I picked the bunk in the back corner. Above you.

You lent me a pair of sweatpants. Encouraged me. Let me follow you to breakfast the next morning. By the end of the week, you had become my best friend.

God had a reason for me missing my flight. For my next flight getting delayed. For me losing my luggage. God had you.

You have blessed me more than you will ever know. Even though you live so far away, we've only grown closer since that week. Thank you so much for your beautiful friendship.

Your godly example.

Your affirmation.

I thank God every day for you. I pray for you.

I love watching God work through you and your life and example. Keep living for Him.

Love you <3

Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Kind Of Friends We Used To Be (part 2)

People change.

The ever common theme of our story. You and me. The friends nobody thought would ever be any different. With one always holding they other while they cried. When one laughed, the other was filled with joy. But not anymore. We couldn't be two more different people.

When we met, we were different from each other. But different in another way. Not like we are now.

I was loud, you were quiet. I talked to anyone who would listen, you were painfully shy. But somehow, we became best friends. Inseparable. When you went through one of the most trying times in your life, I was your biggest cheerleader. Together, we fought the battle headfirst and came out victorious.

We were unstoppable. We were the best of friends. Forever.

But people change.

And here on earth, forever can end.

We're so different now, you and me.

If someone looked at my life, then at yours, they would never be able to guess that we were once best friends. Or that we even know each other. I used to ask myself all the time, what happened? What could have torn us apart? Taken us on separate paths?

I don't ask that anymore. I stopped asking a long time ago.

We just... drifted.

One day here, the next day gone.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if we hadn't changed. If our paths hadn't taken a fork. They rarely cross now. But when they do cross, I am reminded of how we used to be.

The kind of friends we used to be.

I still love being with you. Knowing that even though we aren't who we used to be, we're still friends. I'll never forget those years. I know you won't either.

I used to tell myself that maybe someday things would be different. That we wouldn't be so different. That maybe someday I could once again call you my best friend. Forever.

But I realize now, that probably won't happen. We'll just keep drifting. You'll live your life, and I'll live mine. You'll have your best friends and I'll have mine. The maids of honor at our weddings won't be each other, like our little girl dreams said they would be. They'll be different people. Because everything's different.

Because people change.

But that's okay.

I'm okay.

I hope you are.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

The Kind Of Friends We Used To Be (part 1)

It's weird. It's really weird. A year ago, you were my best friend in the whole world. I barely talked to anyone else. Maybe that's where I made the mistake. Making you my only friend. Letting you be exclusive to me.


But now... now it's like we barely know each other. It's weird how we've both moved on. Like it never even happened. I have my friends, you have yours. It's not like we're not friends. But it's different. I'll never forget the day when we confirmed we could no longer be best friends. That you couldn't be my buddy. And I couldn't be yours.

It's funny. I didn't cry. I guess by then, I'd cried so much, all the tears had been drained out of my eyes. And now, it's like we barely know each other. True, we can still easily converse. But, those silent pauses aren't the comfortable silence they once were.

They're almost awkward. Each of us wondering what on earth to say next.

I have people I love so much. They're the best friends I could ever have. Something I've always wondered is, what it's like for you. Watching me interact with these people on Facebook. Knowing that they're my best friends. And that you and I barely talk. I half want to ask you. But I'm not going to. Those days of knowing every thought the other thinks are over. But watching you interact with other people, it's weird. Sometimes, I read the comments and consider how that used to be me. Once, I even imagined how the conversation would've gone had the other person been me. Only once though.

I keep saying it's weird... but it is. Knowing that a year ago...six months ago...we were inseparable. And now... we're not. Everything's different now.

But that's okay.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

In Every Thing Give Thanks

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18


Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. The day when we take time to pause and reflect on all the blessings in our life. And to be thankful for them.

But what about those things in our lives that weren't exactly blessings? 

Are we supposed to be thankful for those too?


You remember that time in your life when so-and-so wasn't exactly being the greatest friend ever? Or what about that day last week when nothing could go right? 
Are you thankful for them?


You heard me right. 

Are you thankful for them?

Think about it. So what if so-and-so wasn't being a good friend? Didn't you find out that the other so-and-so was the best friend you could ever have?

And that day last week... everything was falling apart! But remember when that random person in your life gave you a hug and/or told you everything was going to be okay? And that they were praying for you?

Those are things to be thankful for. 

Those instances gave you those things.

In every thing give thanks. 

I went through several years of turmoil back in my early teens. But I sit here today stronger than ever. God taught me so much through those years. True, I'm still healing. I'm still learning. 

If I hadn't gone through what I went through, I would not be the person I am today. God has placed a passion for teens and children into my heart, that I might not have discovered if not for what happened to me. It is because of what happened to me that God was able to open my eyes. Open my eyes to get a tiny glimpse of His purpose for my life. 

So guess what?

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for:

My family

My friends (certain friends especially).

My beautiful life.

My amazing Savior.

And my time of turmoil. 

Because in that time of turmoil, I was tried. And purified. And I'm coming out as gold. 

What are you thankful for?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I Believe

i believe.

Those two words are so powerful.

I want to run outside and run down my road yelling it at the top of my lungs

I believe!

I'll shout it from on top of the nearest hill. I want everyone to know.

I Believe!!

Go outside.

Look around.

Do you believe?

God is real.

Ladies and gentlemen, God. Is. REAL.

Do you believe?

Have you been outside lately? Have you seen the trees? The birds? The hills? Creation?

God made that.

Look in the mirror.

See that person peeking back at you?

God made them. And guess what? That's you.

God. Made. YOU.

God. Loves. YOU.

Do you believe?

How could you not?

All around, nature screams that she has a Creator.

Did you wake up this morning?

Are you alive?

Does this world exist?


How could it?

If there is no God, how could any of this exist?

Something cannot randomly come out of nothing.

It has to be made.

God made the universe. The earth. Nature. You. Me. Everything.

Do you believe?


Friday, November 5, 2010

Great is God's Faithfulness

Great is Thy Faithfulness has recently become my favorite hymn. Every word oozes the everlasting, unending faithfulness of God. It praises God, thanking Him for His eternal faithfulness. The other day, I was thinking about the hymn, considering what I would say if questioned by an unbeliever about God's faithfulness. The words of the hymn continued coursing through my mind. But in a different way. As if I was speaking to someone, telling him of God's faithfulness, instead of speaking to God, praising Him for His faithfulness. I found my journal and a hymnbook and began re-writing the hymn. The message is still the same, but this time it speaks directly to an unbeliever.

Verse 1
Great is God's faithfulness, He is my Father;
I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that He will not leave me;
He doesn't change, His compassion never fails;
He will forever be who He has always been--God.

Great is God's faithfulness;
Great is God's faithfulness;
Every morning I awaken to see His abundant mercies renewed;
Everything I've needed God has provided;
Great is God's faithfulness to me!

Verse 2
As the summer, winter, spring, and harvest pass by,
And the sun, moon, and stars continue in their ways;
They all join nature with an abundant testimony;
Testimony of God's faithfulness, mercy, and love!

verse 3
My sin has been pardoned and I'm surrounded by an enduring peace;
God's sweet presence alone cheers and guides me;
I have strength for today and a bright hope for tomorrow;
He has blessed me abundantly with many more around the corner!

I wouldn't try to sing this with the original tune. As the metering and such goes, it's completely different from the original song. Maybe someday I'll find music that matches.

I hope as you read these new words that the message of the song is still the same. This song is a living testimony to what God has done in my life. He has been forever faithful and has never changed. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He will continue to be the faithful, unchanging God.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Great is Thy Faithfulness

 I'll have to admit: I cried. When my webcam turned off, I sat staring at my computer screen; mesmerized. In shock? Maybe. I could feel my face crumpling. No, I thought. I can't cry. Crying doesn't change anything. I had managed to keep my face normal as I read the disappointing letter. But as my friends and I had left our video chat, I couldn't help but let my countenance fall. I made my way over to the couch where my mom was sitting, I let the tears fall. A couple of minutes later, I rubbed my eyes dry. My mom suggested I practice my piano, as I had a lesson today. So, I did. Not really thinking about, I pulled out my hymnbook and opened it to one of my songs and began playing.

Great is Thy faithfulness, oh God, my Father!
There is no shadow of turning with Thee,
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not.
As Thou hast been, Thou forever whilt be!

Great is Thy faithfulness,
Great is Thy faithfulness,
Morning by morning new mercies I see,
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided,
Great is Thy faithfulness,
Lord, unto me!

 I paused for a moment. Great is God's faithfulness. Morning by morning my eyes are opened to the new mercies He brings me. I could hear God whispering to me. Telling me that even now, He had a plan. Even though I didn't get what I wanted, He had something better. What I wanted was good. It could even be considered better. But what God has? That's what's best.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

Last night I spent much time in prayer, begging God to give me peace. To help me to be able to understand that whatever happens today, that I would know that He had a different plan for my life. I was reading Proverbs 27, and the first verse really hit me. Boast not thyself of the morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth. For the first time, I truly began to think seriously about what would happen if the letter said what I didn't want it to say. I didn't know what was going to happen. I'm not able to tell the future. No one is. Regardless, I had spent quite a bit of time speculating about what life would be like if the letter said yes. But not much time wondering what would happen if the letter said no. I guess I just thought there was no doubt it would say yes. You know, the whole "there's no way they wouldn't accept me! I'm me!" complex. 

For I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an unexpected end. Jeremiah 29:11

Surprisingly, this wasn't a verse that came to mind immediately for me. It really only came to mind when a close friend in the same situation mentioned seeing this verse on a lot of people's Facebook statuses. People also in the same situation. In another version of the Bible (I use the original 1611 King James translation), the word "thoughts" is replaced with "plans". These terms are semi-interchangeable. I'm not going to get into a whole this version versus that version debate (because I very well could). I think here, the words are meant to be interchangeable (in a way...if I'm making any sense whatsoever). God has thought of a plan for each of us. He has our story written out. We don't know the end, but God does.

God is forever faithful. He is unchanging. He brings peace. He has a wonderful plan for each and every person in the world.

As most of you know already, I did not get accepted to staff for TeenPact. This has been a huge disappointment for me. But I understand that God has a different plan for my life. I was blessed to be able to have the experience of applying and interviewing for a position. I will never forget my interview and how I was blessed by the intern who interviewed me. I was able to open my letter along with two close friends via Skype chat. Even though only of us made it (and a big AWESOME JOB! to him by the way), knowing we were all supporting each other was such a blessing. As I was getting back to schoolwork, I was still lost in thought about my staff letter.

God began revealing all the things I had already planned on that I can excel in because I'm not staffing. Being a teen project leader in 4-H. Launching a card business. Speech with the NCFCA. And then stuff I can do because I'm not staffing. Taking a speech class in Yakima. Attending my state class as an Alumni for the first time (this past season was my first time at TeenPact). Work more hours at the clinic. Some of this stuff is coming to me as I type. God does not shut a door without opening another. I can't wait to see what's behind the door He has opened.

Monday, October 25, 2010


I'm really not sure how to start this post out. There's so much to say. I just don't know where to begin.

The minister's sermon last Sunday really hit me. He preached on forgiveness.

You know how sometimes (okay, a lot of times) you go into church on Sunday, and you're struggling with something, or something affected you that week that you can't get your mind off of? Or maybe you've been harboring something in your heart so deeply, you've stopped thinking about it? And then, the preacher gets up and when he announces the topic of his sermon for that day, your eyes grow wide, or you jump, or if you were looking down, your head shoots up to stare at the preacher. Why? Because the topic of that Sunday's sermon is exactly what you've been struggling with. Exactly what you can't get off of your mind. Exactly what you've been harboring in the depths of your heart.

That's how I felt this last Sunday morning. My family was in Idaho with a few other families, staying in a cabin. Our church has a thing where you can "call in" and listen to the sermon if you can't be in church. So we did just that.

The minister announced the sermon topic: forgiveness. At first I didn't jump. It was more of a "cock my head to the side with curiosity" kind of thing. As I started listening to the sermon, I felt something tell me "you need to hear this. This is for you. Listen closely." As if God had sat down beside me and tapped me on the shoulder. I instantly began taking notes. The minister was going through misconceptions about forgiveness. Then he went to lies that prevent us from forgiving. The next point was what really hit me.

The connection between bitterness and forgiveness.

If you don't forgive, you can...well, you will become bitter. Signs of bitterness are feeling angry when that person is mentioned or you see them; being more likely to say negative things about that person when they are mentioned; and it goes on.

I felt a pressing on my heart. A name. A person that I have not forgiven. Someone whom I had decided was not worthy of my time. Every time this person is mentioned or their name crosses my mind, all I can think of is how sick and tired I am of them. I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to be around them. For a while, I seriously considered deleting them from my Facebook and blocking them so they wouldn't notice. I told my mom that last part once, and she quickly discouraged me from doing so. She told me to just be an example to them, and be someone they can see Jesus in.

But as I listened to this sermon, I realized that there was no way I was being a good example to that person. Sure, they had hurt me. I felt justified in not forgiving them. The whole "well they hurt me, so I'm gonna find some way to hurt them" attitude. But the minister said something that I've heard many times, but as I was listening to this sermon, and allowing thoughts of the unforgiven person run through my head, it finally made sense. He said: "Not forgiving someone is like drinking a deadly poison and waiting for it to kill that person." Obviously, if you drink a deadly poison, it will kill you and only you.

The minster continued with the simplicity of forgiveness. God forgave us. Even though we have done so much to disappoint Him, He has forgiven us. Ephesians 4:31-32 says "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."

God has forgiven us. Why can't we forgive each other? There is no valid reason on earth not to forgive each other.

As the sermon closed, I thought back to how my unforgiving spirit had affected others. I had grouched at a good friend who didn't even know the person I had not forgiven. Why had I grouched at them? Merely because that person had been on my mind, my hackles were raised, and the good friend had the misfortune to try and have a conversation with me. (I have since apologized for being such a grouch). But I realize now why I had been grouchy. The person I had not forgiven was on my mind, and I was bitter towards this person.

Forgiveness is a choice; an action word. Much like love.

And that's what I have done: forgiven.

Forgiveness doesn't erase everything that happened. But I'm no longer going to linger on it. God long ago forgave that person. And now, I have forgiven them.

Forgive; so that you will never have any regrets.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Superbly Seventeen

Yesterday I turned seventeen. Crazy. I don't feel all that different. Yet. It's kind of weird being only one year away from being eighteen. The age many people have mistaken me for since I was almost fourteen. I wonder how old people will think I am once I'm actually eighteen. Hmmm.

Being sixteen was definitely the best year of my life. I've grown so much spiritually and I'm closer to God than ever before. Everything that happened this year is leading up to something bigger. I can hear God whispering it to me. At the end of two weeks, I will know what I'm supposed to be doing with the next two years of my life. The knowledge will be contained in a single letter. I wonder if the mailman delivering it to my house will understand exactly what he's placing in my mailbox the day that letter arrives. Probably not.

I've always wondered if mailmen think about the contents of the mail they're delivering. Every day one of these people delivers a life-changing piece of mail.

Hmmmm...wasn't expecting that rabbit trail. But then again, I did walk into an automatic door last Friday. Oh, and I almost got run down by an older man pushing a grocery cart. I'm quite the distractable person.

I spent the day in Seattle yesterday with my family. I was able to use my brand new Canon Rebel XSi. It was amazing. I got some really great photos. I'm really glad I do 4-H photography. And that I have a photography "like" page on FaceBook (click here to see it). I saw a wedding party getting their photos taken while in Seattle yesterday. It would be so much fun to be a wedding photographer. Definitely something I would love to do as a side business.

I'm considering becoming a junior leader in 4-H this year. The project I'm considering doing it in has absolutely no leaders whatsoever. Not in any clubs. So I'd like to be the one teaching it. But, I need to see if I can do it first. So I would like prayer for that. That I can see and understand God's will for this. Thank you. :)

Friday, October 8, 2010

Adventures in an Airport

You know, I'm really starting to love flying alone. I mean, I've always really enjoyed flying. And doing it alone, that's been seriously legit. But the last few times I've flown alone, crazy things have happened. Crazy good things. Take the last time I flew. Coming home from TeenPact Congress. I was in the Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport charging my iPod touch and cellphone when I first heard his voice...

"Free internet? How does that work?" A young man wearing a red, white, and blue bandanna on his head and legit over-the-head headphones around his neck speculated. I turned around, shrugging my shoulders. "I'm really not sure," I replied. "I tried using it, and the computers are bugging out. Besides, it looks like you can only go on those three sites listed on the screen. Seems like they're just trying to get you to buy stuff. I don't know, just my thoughts." He nodded. "Yeah...yeah, I see what ya mean. That's kinda dumb." I laughed and nodded in agreement, packing up my chargers and gadgets. Then, I got up and walked to my gate, which was just across the way from the charging station. Never thinking I'd see him again. Just a random guy in an airport, sharing my woes about no free internet. But he followed me. Okay, this is weird. I thought. I instructed myself to calm down. This was probably his gate too.

Sure enough, it was. He sat down a seat away from me and struck up a conversation. You know, the usual "I'm in an airport and I'm so bored so I'll just ask you the age-old airport question".

"Where're you headed?"

I hid a grin at his heavy Texas drawl. "Home," I responded. "My plane flies into SeaTac, but I'm actually from Ellensburg. What about you?" 

"I'm stationed in [insert port I can't remember the name of here]. I was back home just for a little while, but now I'm going back."

"Oh," I cocked my head, curious and a bit surprised he wasn't in uniform. "What brought you back here?"

"Death in the family," he replied, simply.

"Oh..." This stopped my perky curiosity short. "I-I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "It's alright. I wasn't really that close to 'im." He seemed to want a change in subject. "What were you doing in Texas?" he asked me. 

"I actually wasn't in Texas," I told him. "This is just my lay-over. I'm coming home from a week in Virginia. I'm apart of this organization called TeenPact, and I was just at their alumni event, Congress." I talked a little about the week, and what we did.

He seemed really interested. "Cool, that sounds like a lot of fun."

"It was," I smiled. "God did some amazing things this week."

"What religion are you?" He asked me suddenly. This surprised me. I'm not sure why. Maybe because that's not your typical "conversation with a random stranger in an airport" question. Earlier in the week, when we had spent a day in DC, Ruth was telling us how we needed to be always ready to talk to someone about God. To show a good example. You know, the whole "make people wonder why all these teenagers are in suits and actually behaving themselves" thing. That's when I started asking God. Asking what His purpose was in bringing this young man to me. Was it to witness to him? Okay, God, I thought. I'm ready.

Of course, this thought process took about a millionth of a second, so there was no awkward pause between his question and my answer.

"I don't usually think of myself as religious. I'm in a relationship with Jesus Christ," I answered. "But if you were to put me in a category, I lean towards Baptist. What about you?" 

"I'm Pentecostal," he responded. 

Okay, I thought. So maybe he doesn't need someone to witness to him. What's my purpose in this conversation, God? I thought. What do you want me to do here?

So, we kept chatting. At first, kind of just about random things. He asked me how old I was, I found out he would be 27 a week after I turned 17. I told him more about TeenPact, and how I had applied to staff. At some point, the conversation turned to home. And why he had been home.

At that point, we were back at the charging station, as his laptop was in need of charging. He started talking about the deaths in his family.

"My brother got brain dead in a motorcycle accident. They were gonna have the funeral next week, but the people at the funeral home told us his body was rottin' and that we should have it as soon as possible. My father passed away eleven days prior to my brother, so that was hard. Not so much with my father, though. I know where he's at. But my brother..." He trailed off for a moment. 

"You don't know?" I offered. He seemed at a loss for words. 

"Ya." He said. "I mean, there was that time between the accident, and when he got brain dead where he coulda repented. It's possible. But I don't know." The realization of this made us both quiet for a moment. 

"You'll find out when you get to Heaven. I really hope he did." I said softly. "There's a lot we're not going to understand until we get to Heaven. Sometimes I wish God would make everything obvious from the start, but that's not how life works."

Our conversation continued. We talked about God, Heaven, people's random predictions of when the world would end, stuff like that. 

All too soon, our gate was boarding and my group number was called. As I waved a quick good-bye and was starting to get in line, he called me back.

"Hey, if don't acknowledge ya or say good-bye or anything when we're picking up our bags, don't get offended or anything." He said apologetically. I must have looked confused, because he continued. "You see, my girlfriend's picking me up, and she doesn't like the idea of me talking to any other girl. Even if I have no interest in her. She gets jealous. She'd be all over me, asking me what my intentions were, ya know. She wouldn't understand that I just needed someone to talk to. Someone to get my mind off of what's been going on, you know, my dad and brother's passin' and all. Thanks for talking to me. I really enjoyed it."

I smiled and nodded. "I completely understand. It was great talking with you." And I walked away to board the plane. 

I saw him at the baggage claim, later. Caught a quick glimpse of his girlfriend. She was standing quite close to him. As if he'd run away if she turned her back. I looked away quickly, so as not to draw attention to myself. God brought my bag down the claim quickly, and I grabbed it and walked away. 

And now... I'll never see him again. It's weird to think about that. But that's how it is with people you meet on flights or during layovers. You chat for a couple hours, then you go your separate ways.

But as I was relating the experience to my mom as we drove home that night, I realized what God's purpose for allowing this young man to walk into my life. If only for a couple hours. To bless him. To encourage him in his time of mourning.

I'm still kind of overwhelmed from the idea that God used me to bless someone. Me? Really, God? You want to use me? It's crazy that He would even consider using me for His purpose. But He did.


Never miss an opportunity for God to use you.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Life's Disappointments

Life is full of disappointments. We've all been disappointed in one way or another. Usually more than once.

I've been told a time or two before that I take disappointment well. Maybe I do on the outside. But whenever I hear that, I wonder if they would still say so if they saw what was going on in my mind. As soon as I begin to realize I'm being let down, a battle begins. Questions race through my mind.

What did I do wrong?

Do they hate me now?

And most prominent... Why did they lead me on like this?

But there's something God's been teaching me about disappointments. Something that has helped me take disappointments very well. On the inside as well as the outside.

Disappointments are a part of life. People aren't perfect. God has a plan in every circumstance. Maybe I'm being disappointed because whatever is being taken away from isn't part of God's plan for my life.

Sometimes we decide to do things in a moment of excitement. Adrenaline decisions, I like to call them. They could be big, fun, amazing things. But often, we don't step back to think, "Is this what God wants me doing with my life?" Whatever it is isn't necessarily a bad thing. It could be a very wonderful thing. But if it isn't part of God's plan for your life, it might as well be sinning. There are so many wonderful things in life that are out there for us to do. But we simply can't "do it all". That's why God made every person unique. So that we could each do one or two of those amazing things. And then, they all get done.

Besides, if we all did the same thing, life would be boring and predictable. The fun part about life is that everyone does different things. That's why life is so exciting and unpredictable!

A smart person once told me something. He said, "One definition of failure is succeeding in something you were never supposed to accomplish in the first place." 

Lets just say I've been chewing on it off and on for a while.

So, you know those big plans you had for your life? Those are fabulous. But you know what? Unless they're God's plan, they will never feel exactly right. You'll always be chasing after wind, wondering where you went wrong, and why things aren't working out.

Wondering with all your heart why you're being disappointed again and again and again.

God's plan for your life is the perfect plan for you.

And you know what?

Sometimes, we get disappointed so we can be reappointed in God's perfect plan.