Thursday, October 28, 2010

Great is Thy Faithfulness

 I'll have to admit: I cried. When my webcam turned off, I sat staring at my computer screen; mesmerized. In shock? Maybe. I could feel my face crumpling. No, I thought. I can't cry. Crying doesn't change anything. I had managed to keep my face normal as I read the disappointing letter. But as my friends and I had left our video chat, I couldn't help but let my countenance fall. I made my way over to the couch where my mom was sitting, I let the tears fall. A couple of minutes later, I rubbed my eyes dry. My mom suggested I practice my piano, as I had a lesson today. So, I did. Not really thinking about, I pulled out my hymnbook and opened it to one of my songs and began playing.

Great is Thy faithfulness, oh God, my Father!
There is no shadow of turning with Thee,
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not.
As Thou hast been, Thou forever whilt be!

Great is Thy faithfulness,
Great is Thy faithfulness,
Morning by morning new mercies I see,
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided,
Great is Thy faithfulness,
Lord, unto me!

 I paused for a moment. Great is God's faithfulness. Morning by morning my eyes are opened to the new mercies He brings me. I could hear God whispering to me. Telling me that even now, He had a plan. Even though I didn't get what I wanted, He had something better. What I wanted was good. It could even be considered better. But what God has? That's what's best.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

Last night I spent much time in prayer, begging God to give me peace. To help me to be able to understand that whatever happens today, that I would know that He had a different plan for my life. I was reading Proverbs 27, and the first verse really hit me. Boast not thyself of the morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth. For the first time, I truly began to think seriously about what would happen if the letter said what I didn't want it to say. I didn't know what was going to happen. I'm not able to tell the future. No one is. Regardless, I had spent quite a bit of time speculating about what life would be like if the letter said yes. But not much time wondering what would happen if the letter said no. I guess I just thought there was no doubt it would say yes. You know, the whole "there's no way they wouldn't accept me! I'm me!" complex. 

For I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an unexpected end. Jeremiah 29:11

Surprisingly, this wasn't a verse that came to mind immediately for me. It really only came to mind when a close friend in the same situation mentioned seeing this verse on a lot of people's Facebook statuses. People also in the same situation. In another version of the Bible (I use the original 1611 King James translation), the word "thoughts" is replaced with "plans". These terms are semi-interchangeable. I'm not going to get into a whole this version versus that version debate (because I very well could). I think here, the words are meant to be interchangeable (in a way...if I'm making any sense whatsoever). God has thought of a plan for each of us. He has our story written out. We don't know the end, but God does.

God is forever faithful. He is unchanging. He brings peace. He has a wonderful plan for each and every person in the world.

As most of you know already, I did not get accepted to staff for TeenPact. This has been a huge disappointment for me. But I understand that God has a different plan for my life. I was blessed to be able to have the experience of applying and interviewing for a position. I will never forget my interview and how I was blessed by the intern who interviewed me. I was able to open my letter along with two close friends via Skype chat. Even though only of us made it (and a big AWESOME JOB! to him by the way), knowing we were all supporting each other was such a blessing. As I was getting back to schoolwork, I was still lost in thought about my staff letter.

God began revealing all the things I had already planned on that I can excel in because I'm not staffing. Being a teen project leader in 4-H. Launching a card business. Speech with the NCFCA. And then stuff I can do because I'm not staffing. Taking a speech class in Yakima. Attending my state class as an Alumni for the first time (this past season was my first time at TeenPact). Work more hours at the clinic. Some of this stuff is coming to me as I type. God does not shut a door without opening another. I can't wait to see what's behind the door He has opened.

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