Monday, November 21, 2011


These past few weeks have been trying. I'm facing challenges I've never faced before. I'm experiencing new things I've never done before. My comfort zone has been stretched to the max. So has my stress zone. I have been met with things I simply cannot understand. I've cried. A lot. I've come to the end of some days wondering if it would even be worth it to wake up in time for class the next morning. I've asked many a time: "What on earth am I doing here??" I've fallen to my knees, unable to control my sobs, begging God to show me why. Begging Him to just get me out of here! To take me far away from my trials and put me in a place where everything is happy and I don't have to worry about drama, or grades, or people I love who have turned their hearts fully against God. I want a perfect world where History of Civ and English 102 don't have to be taken, where friends are always true friends, and everyone loves Jesus. 

I beg God to do something amazing. Something that will GET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE! The place where I'm hurting and confused and going through I trial I frankly would rather not experience.

But if I had my perfect world, would everything really be perfect?

I know that sounds like an odd question, but think about it. If you had everything you wanted and your life was the exact utopia you wanted, would you really be satisfied? Sure, for a couple of days everything would be wonderful! But after a while, things would be boring and lose their shimmer and shine. Perfection would not be as perfect as you thought it was.

As I've gone through especially the past two weeks, God has been telling me the same thing over and over and over again. And on Sunday night, I finally fully and completely got it.

I must rejoice in the Lord always in everything for the joy of the Lord is my strength.

As a Christian, I have every reason to be constantly rejoicing--even in my hardest times. I have been redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ. I am rescued from an eternity of separation from God. I can praise His Holy Name because I am FREE! I can rejoice in Christ because I am reassured. Reassured that no matter what happens, no matter what tomorrow brings, ultimately, God will be glorified.

This Thanksgiving break, I will be pulling an exhaustive concordance off the shelf and brushing off the dust. And I am going to sit down with the concordance and my Bible and highlight as many verses as I can that address rejoicing. 

God wants for us to be joyful, even when it's hard. I can rejoice today knowing that even though my life may seem like a crazy mess, God is looking at the bigger picture. He can see the beautiful portrait He is painting of my life. Even if I don't get to see the answers to my questions this side of Heaven (and for many questions, I won't), I know that God is working out His Master Plan.

And let me tell you...

It's something amazing.

Rejoice in the Lord always: 
and again, I say 
Philippians 4:4

Friday, November 11, 2011

God is Good {All the Time}

Psalm 139

O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.

 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, 
thou understandest my thought afar off. 

Thou compassest my path and my lying down, 
and art acquainted with all my ways.

 For there is not a word in my tongue, 
but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.

 Thou hast beset me behind and before, 
and laid thine hand upon me.

 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; 
it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? 
or whither shall I flee from thy presence?

 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: 
if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

 If I take the wings of the morning, 
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

 Even there shall thy hand lead me, 
and thy right hand shall hold me.

 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; 
even the night shall be light about me.

 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; 
but the night shineth as the day: 
the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.

 For thou hast possessed my reins: 
thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.

 I will praise thee; 
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: 
marvellous are thy works; 
and that my soul knoweth right well.

 My substance was not hid from thee, 
when I was made in secret, 
and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect;
 and in thy book all my members were written, 
which in continuance were fashioned, 
when as yet there was none of them.

 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! 
how great is the sum of them!

 If I should count them,
 they are more in number than the sand: 
when I awake, I am still with thee.

 Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: 
depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.

 For they speak against thee wickedly, 
and thine enemies take thy name in vain.

 Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? 
and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?

 I hate them with perfect hatred: 
I count them mine enemies.

 Search me, O God, and know my heart: 
try me, and know my thoughts:

 And see if there be any wicked way in me, 
and lead me in the way everlasting.

My God is Near
Make me know your presence Lord, the King of Glory here.
You know each thought and action, hope, anxiety and fear.
How can I hide from Thee?  Can darkeness hide iniquity?
Oh how can I unfaithful be, when You are very near to me?
When God is near, all the world seems far away.
When God is near, every fear is set aside.
When God is near, how can I stray? How can I falter?
I’ll stay upon the altar, I know my God is near.
Make me know Your presence Lord, when I feel so alone.
You know each trial and testing pain, the hurt that is unknown.
Oh, why can I not see Your hand so firmly guiding me?
Oh how can I untrusting be, when You are very near to me?
When God is near, all the world seems far away.
When God is near, every fear is set aside.
When God is near, how can I stray? How can I falter?
I’ll stay upon the altar, I know my God is near.