Learning.

I have been a college student for four weeks. Every day I have learned something new. Every morning, I get up, get dressed and go to class. Every day I sit and listen to yet another teacher share a wealth of information. But my learning hasn't just come from the classroom.

I have learned from friends.

I have learned from strangers.

Most importantly, I have learned from God.

I've learned...

Smiling at a stranger may just prompt them to smile back.

Acknowledging someone in the beverage wall line that you thought was a stranger may cause you to discover you've met her before, but neither of you know where.

Always take the opportunity to charge your laptop. You will be thankful for it later.

Apples to Apples cannot be effectively played in a group of more than ten people.

There is more than just "me" at BJU. [more thoughts on this another day]

More often than nought, the people who you thought were the strangest are the most likely to become your best friends.

Bananas make excellent weapons.

Your friends aren't the people who you spend the most time with or tell the most jokes with. They're the people who hug you, love you, and pray for you when you're having the worst day of your life.

Every day is the best day of your life. Even when it's the worst. [more on this another day as well]

God knows where I am even when I can't see Him or understand what is going on. Through trial by fire, I will come out as gold. [Job 23. Just read it.]

It's okay to cry.

God is always with me.

God wants me to want Him.

Being 3,000 miles from home can be one of the scariest things in the world.

Beauty is never just skin deep.

Unexpected people have unexpected stories.

Never forget your Sunday Grab n Go. Ever.

No matter how cute the pink flats make your feet look, it's not a good idea to wear them on five-class-days.

Same goes for the grey wedges.

Teachers care.

Teachers pray.

Teachers exist outside the classroom.

Teachers eat lunch. And are willing to eat with their students.

Getting up early is [almost] always worth it.

The truest people are the ones who love you anyway.

Family, biological or not, is the most important thing.

Hugs are not the same through a webcam.

God loves me. A lot.

Good.

Let it be known that today was good. 

And not just a "Hey, how are you? Good, how are you?" formal kind of good.

It was the kind of good that makes you feel just a little bit better about all the emotions you've been going through. The kind that lets you smile in the morning and cry in the afternoon and at the end of the day, everything will still be okay.

It was the kind of good that reminds you that this isn't as scary as it seems. It reminds you that even though you're leaving everything you've known for nearly your entire life, what you're leaving it for can be just as beautiful if not more. And it makes goodbye just a little bit easier.  

It was the kind of good lets you know that you are right where God wants. It shows you that you are in the best place for you to be at this given moment. That God is going to do marvelous things and not only do you get a front row seat, you get to take part.

It was the kind of good that shows you that even though you left people that love you tons, there are people where you are going that love you too. It takes your aching heart and soothes it. It shows you that love is everywhere. Even when you're 3,000 miles from home.

Yes, today was a good day.

O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.

Psalm 34:8

I Need.

To stop writing blog posts in the Google Chrome browser.

Thumbs down to the 20 minutes I spent writing my heart out only to lose every word.

Fail.

Maybe someday, when my late nights are spent sleeping, and my days are spent feeling less frazzled, I'll try again to blog.

I promise I honestly don't hate my readers who I know are just hungering for another post straight from the deep recesses of my mind (haha, my apologies, I get delusional at 1 am).

I also promise, I will try to post at least once a month. So here it is, The post for August.

Brilliant, isn't it?

Jimmy

Life is but a vapor. It is a fragile drop of water, sustained only by a thin thread, strung from who-knows-where. We do not understand life, nor the losing of it. As J.R.R. Tolkien once stated through his character, Gandalf the Gray, “Many times, those that live deserve death. And those that die deserve life.”

Late last night, early this morning, the world lost a great man. Not just a great man: a man completely and utterly sold-out to Jesus Christ. His face glowed with the shining light of God’s love. He could not open his mouth without proclaiming the joy of one who has lain their entire life down before the throne of God. Who he was made people love Jesus even more. His faith was unshakeable. He led in a manner unmatched by his peers.

I had the honor of being introduced to Jimmy Brazell at my very first TeenPact state class. As one my committee leaders, his cheerful, Christ-centered attitude cast a bright ray of sunshine on the week. He served as an encouragement to fumbling first-timers such as myself. He led worship with a passion I had never seen in any other person.

While I only knew him for a short time, this short time was well spent. His impact on my life will stick with me as long as I live. Because of Jimmy’s example, I love Jesus more. Because of his encouragement during my Rep campaign at my first National Convention, my comfort zone is outstepped regularly.

Jimmy was no ordinary person. He was as close to an angel as any human could ever get. He impacted literally hundreds of people in his short, but well-lived nineteen years. While I mourn the loss of a friend, I also am compelled to celebrate. Jimmy is right where he has longed to be all of his life: right in the arms of Jesus Christ. He is pain and care-free, celebrating the beginning of an eternal life with his precious Lord and Savior. He has finally heard those words his ears once constantly strained for: “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

Death was not the end for Jimmy. It was only the beginning. Oh how I long to be up there in Heaven, singing and celebrating in the presence of Jesus, as Jimmy now does.

I’m gonna miss you, Jimmy. We’ll be seeing you soon.

In the morning, when I rise

In the morning, when I rise

In the morning, when I rise, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus,

Give me Jesus, 

You can have all this world, 

But give me Jesus

When I am alone

When I am alone

When I am alone, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus, 

Give me Jesus, 

You can have all this world, 

But give me Jesus

When I come to die

When I come to die

When I come to die, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus, 

Give me Jesus, 

You can have all this world, 

You can have all this world, 

You can have all this world, 

But give me Jesus 

Jesus Loves Me

Jesus loves me, this I know
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak,
But He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so.

To be honest, I don't actually remember learning the song "Jesus Loves Me". It was one of those songs I just… knew. I remember singing it as a small child in Sunday School. I was very intrigued with the hand motions, which I would later learn were apart of a language known as American Sign Language.

I have many memories locked up in this beautiful children's song. But it's one of those songs that tends to lose it's core meaning. The tune is simple, the words flow easily, and we tend to sing it in a repetitive, meaningless manner. We forget how profound and life-changing the words of this song are. We forget what they mean.

"Jesus loves me, this I know…"
Jesus--the perfect Son of God--loves. He loves. Who does He love? Me. A poor, wretched sinner. I know this in my heart, beyond the shadow of a doubt. But how do I know this?

"…for the Bible tells me so…"
The Bible--the Holy and True Word of God has told me it is so: Jesus loves me. "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen." (2 Corinthians 13:14); "For God so loved the world…" (John 3:16); "…God is love." (1 John 4:8). The Bible is filled with passages like these speaking of God's love for us.

"…little ones to Him belong…"
We are so small compared to God. WE are little one's. Every single one of us. From the newest baby to the oldest adult. We are small. But we belong to Jesus. "For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's." 1 Corinthians 6:20

"…they are weak…"
We as humans are weak. When we fall, we cannot pick ourselves up on our own. On our own, we have absolutely no hope. "Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall." Isaiah 40:30

"…but He is strong!"
When we lean on Christ, we are filled with strength that is not of this world. God is bigger and stronger than all of our doubts, fears, trials, and sin. When we place our trust in Him, He will not only pick us up, He will help us to soar. "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes! Jesus loves ME.
YES!! JESUS LOVES ME!!

The Bible tells me so.

Lord, 

help me to never, ever forget the beautiful truths 

held in the simple words of this song. 

In your precious, holy name, Amen.

A Matter of the Heart

Those who have been following my blog for quite some time know that last summer was one of huge lessons and hard-earned victories in Christ. One of the biggest obstacles I overcame was that of protecting my heart. This was and has been a constant battle in my life. Ever since I was little, I have dreamed about falling in love. I am in love with the idea of being in love. I have come so far and I am so thankful for God's patience and grace as I learn and grow in Him. But lately God has shown me I still have a ways to go.

With college coming up in little over a month, I find myself entering a new phase of life. One where I will be doing a hundred million things I've never done before. I'll have new freedoms, new rules, and new lessons to learn. I've been blessed with the great opportunity to "meet" and interact with some of my fellow BJU freshman in a Facebook group. I have already made some amazingly wonderful friends. I can't wait for the day I'll be able to meet them in person.

But it was here that God showed me that I still have much to learn in the area of protecting my heart. I knew the guys at BJU were going to be amazing, wonderful Christian guys who would bless ms. But having had the privilege of chatting with and getting to know a few of these guys has made realize just how true this is. Already the are blessing me. It's been wonderful to know that I will have wonderful Christian sisters AND brothers with whom I will form lasting friendships.

But at the same time, I've been stumbling. I've always wondered if I would meet Mr. Right at BJU, and lately this has been seeming more and more possible. Instead of concentrating on falling more and more in love with my Savior, I've been thinking about my Mr. Right. I've been wondering who he is, what he looks like, and how we'll meet. Now, it's okay to wonder these things, but I have been consumed with these thoughts.

Ever since Saturday, God has been pressing on my heart to let it go and let Him have full control. But I've been stubborn. I'll be completely honest, I could easily spend weeks thinking and talking about finding Mr. Right and all that goes with it. But God doesn't want my thoughts to be consumed with that. He wants my thoughts and life to be consumed by Him. Someone recently made an interesting observation to ms. Anytime Christian couples told their love stories, there was one element of them that played over and over again. They did not find each other until they stepped back and said, "Okay, God. I'm not going to worry about finding the one I'm going to marry. It's all up to You. My life is in Your control. I want to fall completely and utterly in love with You.

Last night, I received an e-mail from my best friend who knows all top well about my struggles in this area. She started with this quote:

It is far more appealing, enchanting, and romantic 

to find a Godly woman who is lost in Jesus 

than one who is worried 

about finding the right guy to marry. 

But remember, 

our precious Jesus IS faithful, good, and overflowing with love. 

Trust Him.

written by a guy (Set Apart Girl Mag, May/June 2011)

As the e-mail went on, she pointed out how these thoughts of preoccupation with wondering who my Mr. Right is can become idols. As I read this, God whispered to me, "This is what you've been doing."

I felt so ashamed of myself. God (as He always is) was right. I was letting the idol of earthly love take first place. God should be the only One in the first place position in my life.

So I put Him there. I know it's going to take waking up every single morning and going to bed every single night determining to put God first, but it's the most necessary thing in the world. As each day goes by, I want to fall more and more in love with my Heavenly Savior. He is my One and Only, my All in All, my life, my everything.

Whom have I in Heaven but Thee? 

And there is none upon the earth 

that I desire beside Thee. 

My flesh and my heart faileth: 

but God is the strength of my heart, 

and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:25-26

I'm Sorry

To all of my brothers in Christ:

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for every time one of us girls 

has done something that has caused you to stumble.

I'm sorry for every time we've broken one of your hearts.

I'm sorry for every time society blamed you for girls' low self-esteem. 

I'm sorry for every time you haven't been able to look at us 

because of our immodest clothing.

I'm sorry for all the times you had to cry in pain 

because we girls were setting ourselves up as stumbling blocks. 

I'm sorry for every time one of us girls 

took your authority away and dominated over you.

I'm sorry for confusing you.

I'm sorry for every time we didn't give you a chance to be chivalrous.

I'm sorry we don't try to understand.

I know just one girl among billions saying she's sorry 

won't make much of a difference. 

But I really am sorry. 

We girls don't make it easy for you guys. 

Instead of being the encouraging support woman was made to be, 

we are your greatest stumbling block. 

For you, my Christian brothers, my heart breaks. 

Like I said, 

I know one apology 

won't make much of a difference, 

but it needed to be offered. 

To any guy 

who has struggled, stumbled, or fallen 

with the influence of the girls, 

I'm sorry.

You don't know how much I am sorry.

In sisterly love,

a Christian sister