I don't normally use my blog to speculate about my future, or to share the random little wishes I have for my life. But today, I can't hold back. Today is a day of insight and a little peek into my mind, should you continue to read.
I'm a bit of a people watcher. Especially when I go to Starbucks. There's just something about having an Econ textbook in front of me that makes my eyes wander. Clearly this is merely a requirement, "get me through this so I can get an A and forget about it" course for me. It's interesting, to be sure, but so are people.
The day is a beautiful rainy Sunday. I'm sitting by a window with a clear view of the people pulling into the Starbucks parking lot and coming in the front door. I've seen a young family, college students, and several young teenagers. But one older couple has caught my eye.
I spotted them when the wife stepped out of the car. She has a walking boot on her left leg and is using a cane. Her husband came up next to her and guided her inside. They go up to the counter and place their order. I notice they are both carrying books. The husband sits his wife down at the table in front of mine. I watch him set his coffee down and go to retrieve hers when it is ready. They each pull out a small snack and open their books. I smile to myself as I watch them together. They don't talk, just sit: nibbling, drinking, and reading. They are comfortable in their silence. Content to become lost in their individual books while sitting in the presence of the one they love.
The years of mutual love and trust are evident simply in their quiet contentment. Many different people come to Starbucks for many different things. Studying, socializing, internet access. But this couple, they are different. They came simply to enjoy each other on a rainy Sunday afternoon. As I watch their occasional conversation and quiet company, my heart swells. Watching them, I see a window into what I want my later years to be like. What I want my marriage to be like.
Sitting in front of me is an older couple in their retirement years, content to simply enjoy each other. They don't feel obligated to clutter up the atmosphere with pointless, continuous conversation. The years of love, togetherness, and struggle has given them a closeness many merely wish for. And that, that is what I wish for. That someday, when I am old, when my smooth skin has grooved and my multi-colored hair has turned to gray or even white, I will still have the love I had when I was young.
I may not know his name, or his face. I don't know where he will come from or what our life together will be like. But I know that if fifty, sixty years from now, I can sit quietly with him in a coffee shop, reading a book and sipping cappuccinos, simply enjoying his company, and loving him all the more, every struggle we encounter will be worth it.
My wish is for someone who will love me through the good days and the bad. When I am no longer beautiful, I want him to be the kind of man who will still look me in the eye and call me beautiful--and mean it.
But what if sixty years from now, my coffee shop scene is me alone? What if there is never "him"? What if I never wear a white dress, and never say "I do"? Some may say my wish did not come true. But I will say it did. Because sixty years from now, I will still have my heavenly Savior. Whether or not I ever marry. God loves me when I am lovable and when I am not. I am His beautiful creation, no matter how old I get.
Sixty years from now, maybe you'll find me in a coffee shop. If you see me there, old and gray, enjoying a cup of coffee and a thick book, you'll know I'm enjoying a date. Either a date with my husband or a date with my Jesus. And I will be content.
Single or otherwise, I choose to be content.