Lord, teach me to trust You.

Therefore I say unto you,

Take no thought for your life,

What ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink;

Nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on.

Is not the life more than meat, and the body raiment?

Behold the fowls of the air:

For they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns;

Yet your heavenly Father feedeth them.

Are ye not much better than they?

Which of you by taking thought

Can add one cubit unto his stature?

And why take yet thought for raiment?

Consider the lilies of the field,

How they grow;

They toil not,

Neither do they spin:

And yet I say unto you,

That even Solomon in all his glory

Was not arrayed like one of these.

Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field,

Which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven,

shall he not much more clothe you,

O ye of little faith?

Therefore take no thought, saying,

What shall we eat? Or,

What shall we drink? Or,

Wherewithall shall we be clothed?

(For all these things do the Gentiles seek:)

For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need

Of all these things.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God,

And His righteousness;

And all these things shall be added unto you.

Take therefore no thought for the morrow:

For the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.

Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

[Matthew 6:25-34]

Come unto me,

All ye that labour and are heavy laden,

And I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me;

For I am meek and lowly in heart:

And ye shall find rest in your souls.

For my yoke is easy,

And my burden is light.

[Matthew 11:28-30]

I'm okay.
That's what I've been saying.

But really...
Maybe I'm not.
But maybe...
I am.

Is it possible to be both?
Yes.

I know that God is in control.
And with that, I am okay.
But I still hurt.
Deeply.

Because I am a person.
With feelings.

I honestly can't say my world has come crashing down around me.

Because my world does not solidify in people or things.

It solidifies in my Savior.
The only One I can truly rely on.

People disappoint.
They are not perfect.
That is the moral to this story.

God's ways are not my ways.
His plans are not my plans.
And I am going to trust Him.

Because if what I just lost wasn't what is best...
Then what is best is something incredible.
And I'm willing to wait for that.

Lord, teach me to trust You.
This is my greatest desire.
But I am weak. I am human.
And I will fall.
Please keep picking me up and brushing me off every time I fall.
Teach me to trust You.
Because that is the one thing I know that will bring me lasting peace.